The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt, r. Feb. 2026

 p. 6 Gen Z became the first generation in history to go through puberty with a portal in their pockets that called them away from the people nearby and into an alternate universe that was exciting, addictive, unstable, and – as I will show – unsuitable for children and adolescents. Succeeding socially in that universe required them to devote a large part of their consciousness – perpetually – to managing what became their online brand.

p. 73 As the Stoics and Buddhists taught long ago, happiness cannot be reached by eliminating all "triggers" from life; rather, happiness comes from learning to deprive external events of the power to trigger negative emotions in you.

p. 120 In Walden, his 1854 reflection on simple living, Henry David Thoreau wrote, "The cost of a thing is the amount of ... life which is required to be exchanged for it, immediately or in the long run." So what was the opportunity cost to children and adolescents when they started spending six, or eight, or perhaps even 16 hours each day interacting with their devices? Might they have exchanged any parts of life that were necessary for healthy human development?

p. 139 The opportunity cost of a phone-based childhood refers to everything that children do less of once they get unlimited round-the-clock access to the internet.

p. 152 Part of defining the self comes from successfully integrating into groups; part of being attractive to groups is demonstrating one's value as an individual with unique skills. Researchers have long found that boys and men are more focused on agency [striving to individuate and expand the self] while girls and women are more focused on communion [striving to integrate the self in a larger social unit through caring for others]

p. 194 A central concept for Durkheim was anomie, or normlessness – an absence of stable and widely shared norms and rules. Durkheim was concerned that modernity, with its rapid and disorienting changes and its tendency to weaken the grip of traditional religions, fostered anomie and thus suicide. He wrote that when we feel the social order weakening or dissolving, we don't feel liberated; we feel lost and anxious. That, I believe, is what has happened to Gen Z. They are less able than any generation in history to put down roots in real-world communities populated by known individuals who will still be there a year later [rather than a network with "a daily tornado of memes, fads, and ephemeral mircrodramas, played out among a rotating cast of millions of bit players].

p. 203 "collective effervescence"

p. 204 family rituals such as a digital Sabbath (one day per week with reduced or no digital technology, combined with enjoyable in-person activities)

p. 206 Screens lead us to forget that our physical bodies matter.

p. 207 If we want to experience stillness and silence, and if we want to develop focus and a sense of unified consciousness, we must reduce the flow of stimulation into our eyes and ears. We must find ample opportunities to sit quietly, whether that is in meditation, or by spending more time in nature, or just by looking out a car window and thinking on a long drive, rather than always listening to something, or (for children in the back seat) watching videos the whole way.

p. 209 Social media is a fountain of bedevilments. It trains people to think in ways that are exactly contrary to the world's wisdom traditions: Think about yourself first; be materialistic, judgmental, boastful, and petty; seek glory as quantified by likes and followers. Many users may believe that the implicit carrots and sticks built into platforms like Instagram don't affect them, but it's hard not to be affected unconsciously.

p. 253 Unstructured free play addresses – head-on – making friends, learning empathy, learning emotional regulation, learning interpersonal skills, and greatly empowers students by helping them find a healthy place in their school community – all while teaching them life's most important skills like creativity, innovation, critical thinking, collaboration, communication, self-direction, perseverance, and social skills.  

p. 260 Human childhood evolved in savannas and forests, alongside streams and lakes. When you put children into natural settings, they instinctively explore and spontaneously invent games. Abundant research shows that time in natural settings benefits children's social, cognitive, and emotional development, and these benefits matter even more as young people are increasingly ensconced in the virtual world and as their anxiety levels continued to rise.

p. 269 As for your own interactions with your child, they don't have to be "optimized." You don't have to make every second special or educational. It's a relationship, not a class. But what you do often matters far more than what you say, so watch your own phone habits. Be a good role model who is not giving continuous partial attention to both the phone and the child.

p. 274 Bonus points for any [monthlong teen summer camp] that promises to not post pictures every day on its website. Summer camp is a great opportunity for parents and children to get out of the habit of constant contact and, especially for parents, constant reassurance that their kids are okay.

p. 280 6. Talk with your preteen about the risks [of social media], and listen to their thoughts. Even without a social media account, all children will encounter age-inappropriate content online. Exposure to pornography is virtually certain. Talk with your preteens about the risks inherent in posting public content or sharing personal information online, including sexting and cyberbullying. Ask them what problems they see in their peers' online habits, and ask them how they think they can avoid such problems themselves. 

p. 281 You have to let go online eventually. But if you can keep the quantity of online time lower and the quality higher in this long period of childhood and early adolescence (ages 6-13), you'll make room for more real-world engagement, and you'll buy time for your child's brain to develop better self-control and less fragmented attention.

p. 281 FOR PARENTS OF TEENS AGES 13-18 (HIGH SCHOOL) [a list of ] More (and Better) Experience in the Real World: 1. Increase their mobility. 2. Rely more on your teen at home. 3. Encourage your teen to find a part-time job. 4. Find ways for them to nurture and lead. 5. Consider a high school exchange program. 6. Better thrills in nature.

p. 287 As your children get older, increase their mobility and encourage them to find part-time jobs and ways to learn from older adults. Consider an exchange program, a summer wilderness program, and a gap year.

p. 289 ...the radical transformation of childhood into something inhuman: a phone-based existence.

p. 290 In part 4, I offered dozens of suggestions, but the four foundational reforms are: 1. No smartphones before high school. 2. No social media before 16. 3. Phone-free schools. 4. Far mare unsupervised play and childhood independence.